You're in jail because you're boring.

Prison Break is a great series. I just started watching and it is well written, (in)tense and filled with interesting characters including T-Bag. I hate that motherfucker! I really hope he gets killed to death! Rargh! The other guy I dislike is Lincoln Burroughs because he is SO BLOODY BORING. Boring voice, boring storyline, and most of his scenes usually involve him sitting down and talking about his story. Ultimate fail?

Prison Break (2005)


-_- zZzZzZzZzZzZz


Me watching Lincoln Burroughs

This isn't a film, I know, and it isn't even an actual scene from Prison Break. But I am doing something a little "outside of the box" because I am WELL MENTAL! WoOoOoOo0o0o0oO0oo0Oo0OoO0ooo0oOO0o0ooooOO0o0Oo0oaaaah!

Beowulf & MENTAL!

There are some very funny moments in this movie, though I am not sure they were intentional. Like the hairy kid, the Christian having a heart attack and the ridiculous swearing. However, compared to the programe I was watching previous to it - BBC's Bonekickers - this movie was amazing.

Beowulf & Grendel (2005)


io  oi    io  io     -...WTF?


Thorkel goes mental on a skull and his torch-bearing pals are like WTF?

And it was pretty good really. Great cinematography, and I find their teasing of the Christian missionary greatly amusing.

"I slept with a witch once."
"...You slept with a WITCH?"

Bwahahahaha.

[Ne] 3s2 3p6

So Abe and Aaron build a time machine
allowing them to travel back and forth between
past and future, but they run out of luck
when Abe realises he's getting fucked! (by Aaron)

Primer (2004)



\_0_/


Egg-in-a-time-travel-box.

This movie is so fucking PRIME!
And this post about it even rhymes!

Son of SHAMbow

Despite the title I thought this was a great movie. From the guys that made not amazing but enjoyable film version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy comes a very funny film about two kids making their own version of First Blood. As you can imagine, many hilarious japes ensue with plenty of lollerz moments.

Son of Rambow (2007)


/&


Dog attached to a kite.

It's a dog. Attached to a kite. A flying dog. Funny right? You probably had to be there.

You Shall Not Post

Ok, so I know some English people who are currently in New Zealand... so why the fuck wouldn't I make a LotR post?

Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring (2001)


|_0 -You shall not pass!!  ===\o/\o/


Gandalf wards off the Balrog

I mean, seriously. As if I wouldn't

Event HorCRYMOARNOOB

Have you ever seen fire in zero gravity? No? Well have you at least seen this movie? Probably not, as it is criminally underrated. It's a horror set in space directed by Paul Anderson so it's going to be shit like Jason X or Alien Ressurection right?

Event Horizon (1997)


( T__T )   -Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see


Dr. Weir weeps blood from his empty eyesockets like a wimp

WRONG. You'd be a n00b to think so. Apart from the slightly confusing question of why a Russian captain would speak his distress signal in latin, it's really quite good as far as horror movies go. Watch it or die trying.

Easter Man Hunt

Ok, so it's Easter and our first post for March 2008. When I was growing up Easter was in April. Then one day it wasn't. Also, when I was growing up, mythology movies like Clash Of The Titans and the Sinbad films used to play during the Christian holiday periods. Then one day they stopped.

When I was growing up Mel Gibson was talented. Then one day he made The Passion Of The Christ.

So, being Easter there can really only be one choice of movie to post a still about; Apocalypto. Yes. That's because it's also a Mel Gibson film, but 20x better than The Passion Of The Christ could ever be.

The following scene is the manhunt that follows as Jaguar Paw flees the invasion of his village. It's not really a 'scene'; it's more like 'most of the movie'.

Apocalytpo (2006)


===O/O/O/   ===\0/


Fleeing Scene [Majority of film]

Besides, didn't The Aztecs invent chocolate and bunnies?

The dying never ends

Perhaps the least famous of Romero's "Dead" trilogy (or tetralogy now, and today proudly a pentalogy) and perhaps the worst too, but Bub is one ace zombie. You almost feel empathy for the "pus fuck" especially in the light of the assholish Captain Rhodes. It was like watching a bear cub being picked on by Jim Davidson. Disgusting.

Day of the Dead (1985)


Bleeeeurg!-  O_,-      ~  O/  -YOU PUS-FUCK!


Bub gets his revenge on Captain Rhodes

I don't recommend going out of your way to watch this movie. Not even for the scene where that one guy says to that other one guy:

Ô___Ô -Temporarily out of service!

Sixth Sense and Sensibility

Vader is Luke's father! Oh no, wrong twist. Anyway, I've not seen this movie in years but everyone knows this classic scene.

The Sixth Sense (1999)


I see dead people- o   O


Cole spills the beans to Dr. Crowe

This film is very sensible as with all of Shyamalan's movie. He's sort of like a MOR Hitchcock. Still like his movies though.

Do you want to be like me? Or do you want to ASCII me?

A two and a half hour tension-fest filled with men, horses and Nick Cave (he is neither horse nor man). The only way this movie could have been better is if it had a subplot involving alien abduction.

Not.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)


/\        ¬_O


Robert Ford owns Jesse James scene

Apparently the director's cut is four and a half hours. I think the two extra hours involves aliens. No, not really. I think the two extra hours are slapstick comedy in a Blazing Saddles vein. No, not really.

...

I Am Awesome

Ok, so if I was Will Smith I'd being say "I am awesome" all the time... like, when I'm on the phone and at the shops and stuff. I mean, you know you would - especially with some of his rather interesting and entertaining films lately...

I Am Legend (2007)


oOo 0  | 0 -I can save you!


Basement confrontation scene

..I did, however, recently see a preview for 'Hancock'... We'll see.

Darjeeling Fucking Limited

If you haven't seen this movie then what are you doing on this blog? Fuck off and watch it and then come back! Yeah!

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)


___|   \o


Running after the train scene

This still pretty much accurately encapsulates Wes Anderson in all his bright-coloured, visually-stunning and quirky glory.

Error: Gone From Memory Already

Ok, so I just watched Eragon and it was awful. I'm quite sure the books are fantastic though. Shame the remaining third and fourth books are no longer going to be released since Christopher Paolini killed himself on the red carpet of the premiere.

This still is basic and uninspired since I have already forgotten the majority of scenes - and I'm not going to watch it twice like I do most films. I can't even remember any awesome quotes so you're stuck with Eragon flying Saphira. I think that happens a couple of times.

Eragon (2006)


\  0  /


Eragon flying Saphira

Consider this:
Nicholas Burns - Eragon
Val Kilmer - Brom
Tony Robinson - Durza
Jared Leto - Murtagh
Lilly Allen - Saphira [voice]

Isn't that just better already?

P.S. We Dine In Hell

Apparently Gerard Butler is in a romantic comedy. I lolzed.

300 (2007)


o| o| o| o| o| O|  -...take from them everything!


Shield wall scene

There is a lot of machismo in this movie, and I first saw it in Chelmsford cinema with a group of yobbish teenage boys sitting in front.

Road To Awe

Ok, so I just watched The Fountain again and cried.

The Fountain (2006)


[Finish it]  | |0 -Ok


Ecosphere Scene

See?